Chaos Ensues
by Alexis Castle
Summary: set during 'School Hard'. while Willow and Cordy are trapped in the janitor's closet, Cordelia manages to keep barely enough mind to call upon a physical person  well, group of persons  amid her prayers, and, well, Chaos ensues. AU. Rated T for Paranoia.
1. Chapter 1

Wait a second...I know it's here somewhere...

Once upon a time— wait, no, that's not right...

It was a dark and stormy night— that's not right either. I got it! Let me start over...

"Grandma! What big eyes you have!"

Hold it! God! That's not even the beginning of a story! One last try.

The moon was shining like the Orb of Thesulah, (Got it! Found it! Finally!), bright and full over Sunnydale High. Quiet greeted the night which closed in around it, and seemed as peaceful and sleepy as the rest of the town... As far as the jaded Mystery Inc. was concerned. They had no idea what chaos was erupting inside of the school from which they had received the call. One Cordelia Chase was practically hysterical, fearful for her life by the sound of it.

"Wait!" Shaggy exclaimed, breaking the silence as the gang got out of the van— which is really hippie, if you don't mind my saying, I mean, COME ON! Bring your head into the nineties people! You've only got a year left! Anyway-

"I think I saw something, like, over by that window!" The gang approached cautiously, but not too cautiously, because Shaggy was probably overreacting. Again.

They heard a commotion as they neared the school. As they approached, they saw that someone was pulling another someone out of a classroom window. As the someone— the first someone— turned to face them, they realized that his face was slightly disfigured. He had dark clothing, and dark hair and looked very— well to tell you the truth his face was ugly, and Daphne voiced such, as she cowered behind Fred.

"Like, what happened to your bad-ass Kong-Fuoy chick facade. Wow, I just said facade. What have you done to me, Velma?" Shaggy said, babbling nervously as the dark figure turned his attention away from what they would later learn was his dinner.

"Jinkies! He has elongated incisors!" Velma said, chiming in in that strangely annoying way-according to Fred, anyway...

"English, please, Velm." Daphne called, surprisingly calm. (surprising to herself, as well as the gang)

"His teeth are long and pointy. If my calculations are correct, this combination of long teeth and disfigured face are signs of ..." she trailed off, deep in thought. Her eyes grazed over the trembling body that had failed to attempt escape. "But they aren't real! It is impossible!" she muttered, clearly baffled by what she thought this creature was.

"What? Like, spit it out already!" Shaggy said, loudly. "Come on! We can't read your mind, Velma." Fred said, unable to tear his eyes away from the... thing that stood before him. A dark substance trickled down the corner of its mouth.

"Vampire!" Velma explained calmly. "To get rid of said species you simply do..." She took a step forward and jabbed at the vampire with a stick no one saw her pick up. "This." she finished, as the vampire turned to dust before her.

**A/N: hey, Alexis Castle here! you probably read my friend M.R. Dink's story, which thus directed you here, because, well, with a title like mine, this probably isn't getting much traffic. flames, suggestions, tips, even smiley faces are welcome. and to the couple of you that might have checked out my previous stories, they aren't dead they're just... hibernating. yeah, lets go with that. **

**anyways, reviews are like candy :Po- **

**oh, and pardon the excessive use of em dashes-and elipses...**

**ciao!**

**-Alexis**


	2. Chapter 2

***NOTE: Scooby Doo can't talk... yet.

"Velma!" Daphne cried, "did you just _kill _that guy?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. "Technically speaking, yes." Velma confirmed, dropping the stick at her feet. "Of course, He's probably been dead for decades. According to the books I've acquired, vampires are demons, which have infiltrated the bodies of deceased humans. Their brains remain untouched, leaving them with their human memories when they... awaken. They have an overwhelming desire to kill, an utter lack of soul, and a severe allergy to sunlight. A stake through the chest is one of the easiest ways to rid yourself of vampiric creatures."

"And when, exactly, were you planning on telling us about these books you "acquired"?" Daphne asked, making sure to add air quotes to the already emphasized point. Velma was—for once, at a loss for words.

"Like, does anybody else remember the vampire's last meal is laying on the ground right there?" Shaggy asked, and Scooby barked his agreement. I suppose it could be said that Fred acknowledged the comment before saying, "all right, here's the plan: Shaggy, you take Scooby, and get as many people out of the school as you can. Velma, you know what you're doing, so you go try to find the source of the problem. Daphne, I need you to come with me, help me find and talk down our hysterical Cordelia Chase."

Velma and Daphne nodded, and they all set off in different directions. Shaggy to the classroom window (rather hesitantly, Velma noted), Velma to the front door, and Fred and Daphne to the back in order to keep unnoticed.

Confidently, Velma strode to the front door, pausing only to pick up a stout branch which had only recently fallen out of a tree. When she reached the door, she saw a dark coated figure facing off a fierce looking...

"Daphne!" Velma cried, slamming the door open. The vampire turned around, his eyes glistening hungrily. She gripped her feeble defense with white knuckles, and had only begun to strike when it was thrown from her grasp with a smack.

"this is our fight, Spike," the combat-boot clad girl—whom Velma officially concluded was _not _Daphne—spat with a bit of disgust. "I'm the one you came for."

Before anyone could do anything else, the door burst open again, and an already-morphed vampire strode in, holding a teenage boy lazily by the neck. Velma shrunk against the wall, going seemingly unnoticed by the dark man.

"Angeles!" Spike greeted warmly, stepping toward him. "Spike, I thought I taught you to defend your perimeter," Angeles chided. "you did," Spike replied. "I'm just surrounded by imbeciles." Angeles nodded his understanding. He moved his arm forward, offering up his catch.

"Want a bite before we kill the Slayer?" he asked, his voice a bit less malicious. Only then did Velma realize the boy was actually conscious, for he began to struggle. Spike must have realized the same thing Velma had, because when he leaned in, it was to punch Angeles in the face.

—

A muffled noise stopped Daphne dead in her tracks as she and Fred made their way through the halls. It was apparent Fred didn't hear it, seeing as he continued walking a few more steps before turning to face her.

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brow. Absently, Daphne thought how cute he looked when he did that. She smiled a little, but then dismissed it, turning to the janitor's closet.

"I hear something," she said, taking a step toward the door. In a moment she would later write off as fear-induced adrenaline (according to Velma, anyway), she kicked the door in, revealing a pair of terrified looking girls.

"...Buffy?"

**Ooh, cliffhanger! I love you reader(s)! reviews are like candy! all that other crap!**

**-Alexis Castle**


	3. Chapter 3

Willow stood up quickly. "What happened? Did you kill Spike? Is anyone hurt? Your mom's okay, right?" she asked, only then pausing to breathe. "Who's that?" she asked, gesturing to The blonde behind Buffy.

Fred noticed a brunette girl, who had not come to greet them. It was a moment before he realized the girl's question was addressed more to him than to Daphne, whom the redhead called 'Buffy'. "I'm Fred. We got a call from someone telling us to come down here, her name was... Cordelia Chase?"

Cordelia looked up at the sound of her name, finally taking the time to properly look at the high-heel clad Buffy, who looked like she had been dressed by Elle Woods ( All she needed was a chihuahua. Seriously.) and a buff blond. "I'm Cordelia. Who are _you_?" she asked warily. "I'm Daphne, This is Fred. We're Mystery Inc." the Stepford Buffy replied. "_You_ called _us _remember?"

Willow furrowed her brow. "Daphne? You look just like Buffy..." she said quietly. Suddenly, the silence in the hallway was broken as a loud bark echoed through it. 'What on Earth...?' she thought, glancing out the door. Fred stopped her, and stuck his head out.

"Scooby!" he cried, watching the big dog scramble down the hall mere feet away. Shaggy was hot on his trail, and as they reached the closet, the people causing the chase caught his attention, in the fact that they weren't people at all. "Vampires!" Shaggy choked out.

Again, Daphne managed to remain surprisingly calm. "do either of you have any of those stick thingies?" she asked quickly, turning to Cordelia. Both girls shook their heads. "Damn," she muttered. "Only one thing left to do then," Cordelia said. Daphne gave her a confused look, but Shaggy nodded vigorously.

"Like, run!" he cried. But, at this time, the vampires were almost upon them.

Daphne kicked off her heels. As she was bending to pick them up, a shadow came over her. She glanced up, her eyes widening as the Vampire practically began to drool. She stood, the straps of her heels still looped around her thumb. Without hesitation, she plunged the heel of her very expensive shoe into the demon's heart, turning it to dust. She scowled. "I will never be able to wear these shoes again." she declared, flinging the right one toward one of the two remaining vampires. Just as the stupidity of the act caught up with her, the intended target fell to the ground on the opposite end of the hall.

_**-{what are you talking about! This is totally a line!}-**_

"Are you all right?" Angeles asked, catching Velma by the arm. She shrugged it off, and backed away. Angeles raised his eyebrows. "I'll take that as a yes, then," he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Yes, I'm unhurt. Who are you? Why did you let him go?" she asked, turning to face the not-Daphne. She was vaguely surprised when Angeles replied, "I'm Angel, That's Buffy, That's Xander." He said, making sure to keep minimum safe distance. "I thought you were Angeles." Velma shot, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. 'Angel' tossed his head back in exasperation. "You'd think that bleached-blond jerk would get it right after more than 80 years!" he snarled at the ceiling.  
"Um, _hello,_ kind of a situation here, Angel." Buffy exclaimed. "You know, the slayer of Slayers at my high school? Hellmouth to keep safe? Soulless evil to fight?" she tried. Then she stopped. She glanced at Velma, expecting to be bombarded with questions. "Sunnydale is a Hellmouth?" she asked wonderously. "Jinkies, no wonder there are all these Vampires..." she murmured. "does that mean everything I read about was true?" Velma wondered aloud.

"Yeah, basically." Xander said.

"Read about?" Buffy asked, sounding confused.

"I have a thing for ancient languages." Velma confessed. "I found some interesting texts in the library of Merrick Jamison-Smythe, a British man in LA who died a year ago. I used letter frequency to decode symbols and found several similarities to the romance languages, along with Greek and Sumerian."

Buffy's eyes widened in apparent shock. "Merrick? He's dead?" she asked cautiously. Velma nodded, not understanding Buffy's peculiar response.

"Wait, who's Merrick?" Xander asked, holding a hand up in a 'stop' sort of fashion. "He was my first Watcher. Before Giles." Buffy replied, her eyes distant. "Watcher as in Slayer?" Velma asked. Xander turned to face her. "How do you know all this?" he asked bluntly.

"Well, when Fred got a call concerning the Jamison-Smythe house—which had been recently vacated—from a neighbor who claimed she believed the house was haunted. None of the others wanted to take the case seriously, seeing as there was no actual evidence of paranormal or supernatural activity. It ended up being a noisy raccoon in the attic, which I discovered quickly. With time to spare, I... well, I went snooping. I found those books and pored over them for hours, but, I believed them to be merely fictional, and read them for entertainment." Velma explained.

Buffy stood up, ready to get back to killing things. "I hate to break this up, but Spike is here somewhere, and could be wreaking havoc on the people that are still here." She felt qualms of nausea at the thought. Xander paled.

"Let's go"

_**-{what are you talking about! This is totally a line!}-**_

Already, the bunch was turning the corner (they were all _very_ into the running plan), when Fred realized Daphne was not behind him (he was the furthest person back), or in front of him. He shot a worried glance behind him in time to see the tallest vamp go down like a sack of potatoes, nearly catching his feet on the way down.

As the ash settled, Fred smiled. A brown pump lay on the ground. But, when he turned back to face the front, a tall, muscular, and leather clad blond man stood in front of him.

Then it all went black.

**A/N: reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (movie) circa 1991, the movie that started it all ... I figured it would make more sense if it was Merrick instead of some random guy we say is on the watcher's council, in some random place. Merrick may have actually died during the movie, but for the sake of this fic, he didn't. And for the sake of Me, review. EVEN if there is ANY teeny tiny grammatical or character detail that needs fixing. PMS are also accepted. Oh, and Merrick won't be an actual piece, just a little tidbit for plausibility.**

**Ciao!**

**-Alexis Castle**


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